Barack Obama has been elected the 44th President of the United States. And in a stunning turn of events, Christians nationwide have thrown out their belief in God’s sovereignty, their holding to the scriptures as completely inherent, and their PRAY acronym, leaving out PRAISE and jumping straight to ASK! Don’t believe me? Take a look at Facebook statuses saying that God is now judging America or that Obama is the uninformed decision. Take a look at Facebook groups: Smell the BO? Movin’ to Mexico.

We selfish, me-centered people. My goodness! Has God been thrown a curveball? Has God conveyed to us in ANY divinely inspired venue that His plans for 2009 – 2012 are an adamant and wrath-filled judgment of the States? NO! God is still in control! Romans 13: “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”

Obama has not (and will not) take away our right to free worship. Praise God for that! God is still on the throne and knew that the senator would get the election before He even named Adam! Praise God for that! God not only knew about it, but according to the Romans passage, He instituted it! Praise God for that? YES!

You of little faith! You ignorant people! Why in the world would God judge America and leave places like N. Korea, Liberia, etc. untouched? What basis do we have to think that America ever was a “Christian Nation” and is now being judged for falling away from that foundation? We have none! Sure, the first legislation and most current laws are based on biblical teachings, but that in no way makes America a Christian Nation. We are a nation run by humans. A free nation, yes. But a human-ran nation nonetheless.

Christians, we have a responsibility to act maturely as a response to this election. I don’t care if “your guy” lost. Acknowledge that hard work that Senator Obama put in to overcoming something that got another African-American assassinated not 50 years ago. Respect and praise our country for overcoming our tolerance. And pray for God’s will and God’s guidance. And c’mon! Stop this nonsense about running away! My God’s bigger than the boogeyman. I’m so sorry that He isn’t for you folks who think that Obama is an unstoppable terrorist.

1 Thessalonians 5: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Get a hold of yourselves!

Yes, I voted for Obama. I am not saying to not be sad that the man you supported did not win. Be sad. But fall on God.

Found this quote by Dorothy Sayers, author and defender of the faith, writing on the “whatever-itis” that has plagued this country:

In the world it calls itself Tolerance; but in hell it is called Despair. It is the accomplice of other sins and their worst punishment. It is the sin which believes nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and only remains alive because there is nothing it would die for.

More to come on this topic…

The video that I’m going to show you is a shocking one. I’ve been surfing the internet via the “next” feature (courtesy of WordPress) and have stumbled across some extreme heresies. Here is a perfect example of one:

Because of this esteem-boosting sermon (the NOOMA message; I totally agreed with the actual message), I’ve decided to post my sermon that counters this (what I truly believe is a) heresy. This will be posted in article format, and therefore will be edited for reading rather than hearing. You can find the actual manuscript on my Sermons page.

“Bring out the goddess in you.” Anyone know what that is a slogan for? Venus Razors for Women. We are so special that razors can give us deistic qualities. We live in a culture where from age 2 we are taught how special we are, how unique we are, how much worth we have. As we get older, we find out that to be happy we must have and to have we must be the best at acquiring. Presidential candidates boast that they are “your president,” as if it is an honor to be running for such an amazing, special person.

Allow me to let you in on a little secret: you are nothing special. You, by yourself, in yourself, are worthless. The sooner that you come to that realization, the sooner you can begin experiencing everything God has for you. But if you keep living under the illusion that what our culture tells you about how special you are is true, you will miss out on what God wants for you, and what He wants is your total reliance on Him. What He wants for you is for you not to define yourself based on your works, actions, talents, looks, wallet, social status, education, or even who you know. God wants you to define yourself based on Who He is. Jesus, in Matthew 5.1-5 agrees:

Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth…”

We find here a list of radically culturally-contradictory statements made by Jesus Christ. At the very beginning of Christ’s most famous sermon (The Sermon on the Mount), it appears as though He contradicts Himself by saying “blessed are you who have nothing, feel poorly, and want.” That’s completely opposite of what our culture teaches us, and, to be honest, it was completely opposite of what the culture of Jesus’ time taught. Walking around Israel were holier-than-thou Pharisees, who prided themselves on how highly God thought of them. They would make public declarations every time they gave an offering and wailed and howled every time they said a prayer. They wanted attention and found worth in the eyes of man. They found worth in the misconception that holy people are proud people, and, as we know God loves holy people. All of a sudden, this Man comes up and starts preaching against all of those things. How can this be? Weren’t the Pharisees the “men of God”? Does this mean that Jesus was wrong in what He was saying? The answer to that is a resounding: NO! Those who were wrong were the ones who thought that having a high opinion of oneself was godly.

It’s not godly at all. And Jesus drives that point home with these things called the beatitudes. But, what are these things and what do they even mean?

The very first thing that catches everyone’s eye is the word “blessed.” What does this word mean? The common misconception is that this word means “happy.” That is not true at all. If it were, this passage would almost be a depressing creed of some sort: Happy are those who have nothing. Happy are those who weep. Happy are those who are hungry. That doesn’t fit; that doesn’t even make sense. The word “blessed,” here, means “congratulated.” The word has the connotation of “you have achieved the goal, and therefore you are favored by God.” The goals are those attributes listed here. You aren’t born with an innate desire to humble yourself, that’s a God-process. Once allow God to work in your life, then, then you have achieved the goal. The rewards God has for you for achieving the goals are those predicates listed here: kingdom of God, comfort, etc. But I don’t want to focus on the reward or the blessedness because if I do, I fear that our goal will become achieving the prize, not achieving Christ-likeness. So for the remainder of the morning, I want to focus on the first three beatitudes and what they mean for us.

The first beatitude that we come across is “blessed are the poor in spirit.” Jesus put these in an order that made sense. These are not randomly stated, but are meticulously planned to be a hierarchy of sorts. When we view these in that manner, we find that the very first step in favoring God and becoming like His Son is the recognition of our spiritual poverty. Look at Ephesians 2.1-3:

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

How depressing is that?! The fact of the matter is, though, its true! You are dead in sin when you don’t have Christ. You have a carcass for a soul. But you are fooled into believing that you are fine, that your soul really isn’t dead. By saying that, by believing it, by thinking it, you are declaring yourself worthy regardless of the cross.

How many times do you hear those outside the faith rationalize the belief that they are going to heaven when they die by saying this: “Yea, I’m going to heaven when I die. I mean, I’ve been a good person. I’ve been there for my wife and kids. I have a good house that I can afford. I don’t really have any enemies, so of course I’m going to heaven.” Do you realize how sad that statement is? It’s sad because it speaks about earning heaven by your own good merit. The problem is that you are a human being who neither has merit or anything spiritually good. To not realize that is to ignore the necessity of God.

So, Jesus is saying in this passage: blessed are those who realize that they are nothing, have nothing, and contribute nothing to My perfectness. The first step into not only getting into heaven but being an active child of God is admitting you have a problem: you are nothing. John MacArthur puts it this way:

This speaks of a deep humility regarding one’s utter spiritual bankruptcy apart from God. It describes those who are acutely conscious of their own lostness and hopelessness apart from divine grace.

Question: do you go to the doctor when you are feeling healthy? Do you plead your physician to quickly diagnose you because you are feeling great? No, you don’t. Do you go to the doctor under the suspicion that something is wrong regardless of the fact that you have no evidence? No, you don’t. In the same manner, you won’t go to Jesus Christ when you think you don’t need Him. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 9.12 that He didn’t come to heal those that did not want it:

When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick…For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

Jesus isn’t implying that some of them didn’t need Him; He’s not saying that there were already righteous people who needed not the cross. Jesus is being somewhat tongue-in-cheek here by saying, “I’m not here for those who already think they are good enough. Are they good enough? Not at all. But until they realize that, I’m not for them.” Salvation cannot come to the self-righteous. It can’t. Only when you believe with all your heart what Romans 3 says about how worthless you are can you meet Jesus for Who He is. When we do realize that, when we come to the realization that without Christ we are nothing, have nothing, and contribute nothing, then Christ can come and heal us; then Christ can come and cleanse our sins. And when that happens, we become citizens of heaven for, as we just read, “blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

The next beatitude is specifically placed because what logically follows the realization that we are completely bankrupt spiritually is mourning over our worthlessness. You see, mourning shows that you are not OK with your worthlessness; that you are content with your emptiness. Spiritual mourning shows a desire to have more than nothing, but not just any old “more,” the abundant life that Jesus Christ has to offer. Look at what 2 Corinthians 7.10 says:

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

If you are sad about something, if you are truly burdened by an area of your life that you are not happy with, you will seek to change it. That’s what this beatitude is saying: realization is not enough. You can’t just know that you are dead. You must want to be alive! And the promise of mourning of our own wretchedness is a comfort that doesn’t make sense. One writer says:

What an inexpressible comfort it is to stop mourning over the guilt of sin because God in Christ has removed it.

Mourning is a state of mind brought about by the realization of our own appalling nothingness in light of God’s everythingness. God Almighty bestows a portion of Himself upon us that transcends our need; He gives us more of Him than we ever could even imagine. In light of that, because of that, we are humbled as we realize that we pale in comparison to God. It does not stop there. This realization is nothing without action. The definition of mourning is what follows our realization that we are less than dirt without God. When we act upon that by devoting ourselves to God and declaring our dire need for him, that, that is mourning. Mourning is the cleaning out of the carcass of the soul so that God can reside in us.

You have to mourn to be comforted. You can’t be comforted if there is nothing to comfort. In the same manner, you have to mourn over your sin, over your wretchedness, before Christ’s blood can cover your sins and, consequently, comfort you. Before you can have joy in Christ, you must have sorrow, deep mourning, in your wretchedness.

The last beatitude that I want to look at today is probably one of the most confusing and debated over beatitudes. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” Many people argue that “meek” means “weak.” That belief couldn’t be more flawed. On the contrary, many meek men in the bible were also very strong men. For instance, Moses displayed incredible, righteous indignation when he came down from the Holy Mountain and shattered the Decalogue against the ground. But, at the same time, Numbers 12.3 says this about him:

Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.

If “meek” means “weak,” than either Moses didn’t kill anybody or the writer or Numbers didn’t know Moses well enough to make that call. That fact of the matter is, though, that Moses was meek and very strong. He wasn’t weak at all.

So what does “meek” mean? The best definition I could find is a quote by A. W. Tozer. This is what he says:

The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God’s estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything. That is his motto.

Meekness is the realization that God is in control. No matter what storms, no matter what trials, no matter what persecutions we go through, meekness is the understanding that each time we suffer is a time that God has ordained. Remember Job? Nothing that happened to Job was outside of God’s will or permission. The meek man realizes that, recognizes that, lives by that. Even in the face of persecution, the meek man remembers:

“Vengeance is Mine, I shall repay,” says the Lord.

As one writer said,

These are the individuals who understand their spiritual poverty, mourn over their lost condition and are willing to submit their lives to the will of God.

When you realize how direly you need God, and when you give Him your life, meekness is humble trust in the will of God. Providence Himself promises to always be there, promises to give us a future with hope, and promises to come back. The meek man not only knows and believes this, but he is affected by it in his daily dealings with other people. The important thing to remember is this: this rare and often misunderstood beatitude cannot occur or come into existence without the actions of the first two. all three build off each other as man slowly destroys the thought that he is something. Man is nothing without God.

Have you heard of the movie, “The Incredibles”? This is a movie about a supposedly ordinary family who is, in fact, a bunch of superheroes. The title of my sermon is “The Nothing-Specials.” This is because true Christians aren’t anything special in it of themselves. Friends, true Christians are only special in Christ Jesus. Do you live that way? Does God look at your heart and say, “Blessed…”?

The Christianity that exists today is the Dr. Phil Christianity. Take a look at the contemporary worship songs. The pronouns “I,” “me,” and/or “my” are used more frequently than the names “God,” ‘Christ,” or “Jesus.” This is diagnostic. Christians are wrapped up in themselves and honest-to-goodness believe that they are the center of Christ’s attention because of they inherent specialness. They believe that God has faith in us. That’s heresy. That’s blaspheme. Just read Romans 3.

Tragic news found here concerning the family of Contemporary Christian Music singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman. Keep this family in your prayers.

Disclaimer: The following has been divorced of any and all Sovereign theology, to which I hold firmly. I do not necessarily hold to any of the views stated below, even if the view begins with “I believe…” or “To me…” This is simply a discussion.

I’ve got a brainstorm going. In order to keep it going, it needs to be written out. Some people hold to the view that life is the sum of random events stitched together in a space/time continuum. Others belief that life is the sum of all the decisions you make, just like those books you read as a child (for a run up the middle, turn to page 110; for a pass, turn to page 94). Some hold to the belief that life is simply a test, each moment a question in the grand-scheme examination. Finally, certain people hold to the view that life is a game, and the endgame of this contest is the collection of either many things leading to great wealth or many stories leading to a great reputation.

I don’t believe that “life” is any of the aforementioned things. To me, life is the sum of interwoven events precipitated by Providence and Fate. (Now, I’m not trying to sermonize or church-alize this, trust me. So, I plead with you to bear with me.) Everything that happens is because it is supposed to. Allow me to try and explain:

Have you ever driven home from work, pulled into your driveway, and for the life of you could not remember anything post-parking lot/pre-driveway? You attribute it to mundane ritualism, but what if it is more than that? I mean, unless you are suffering from short-term memory loss, you have obviously failed to pay attention to the drive home. How did you safely arrive at your destination? Did you make it home because your mind is so used to driving that route that it took over all motor function while leaving your memory in the dust? I don’t think so. You made home because you were supposed to be there.

Another example: Have you ever been in a relationship that ended and the only thing that came out of that relationship was a broken-heart (and a philosophical post on broken-hearts) and a bunch of new friends? Do you honestly think it was by chance that you met this random person and came out of that elongated rendezvous with more supporting players in your life?

Life has to be made up of the “there’s a reason I’m…’s.” The failure to capitalize on the Providential happenings in life is the failure to live it to it’s full potential. Manifest Your Potential.com puts it this way:

Find the thread of your life and follow it.

Now, I’m not saying to go about life letting things happen to you and attributing (or, blaming) it on Providence/Fate. I’m simply saying what Voltaire once said:

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her. But once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.

You got to your house safely with no help from you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to go in as if nothing different happened (even if the loss of memory happens often), whining about work, traffic (which you didn’t even notice or remember), and demanding dinner and the remote control? Or, are you going to take stock of what is inside that house of yours, value it, and proceed to display that value to those very people?

Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him. -Henry Miller, on fate.

Today, I had an EMG study conducted by my Neurologist on my legs to determine the extent of the damage as well as to attempt an estimation on recovery time. I have considered becoming Amish because my hatred of electricity was spawned as a response to the pain that comes with an EMG.

Here’s how it works: For the first hour, they strap three electrodes to your feet and place a conductor at various lengths up your leg. They then proceed to feed electricity from that conductor (be it at your knees, your shins, etc.) to the electrodes at your feet. Most of the electric feeds are only one burst at a time. However, when they want to not only read your nerve travel time but also your spinal cord reaction, they will send electric feeds at eight bursts per feed. Your muscles and nerves then proceed to pack up their things and leave you to sit in what feels like Jell-o. This lasts about an hour for both legs. This is to determine how quickly the nerves are sending information from one point to another.

Part two. They remove and unplug the electrodes and proceed to plug a needle into the EMG machine. The Neurologist then inserts the needle into three places: 1) your foot muscle at your ankle, 2) your calf, and 3) your spine. Keep in the mind, the needle is plugged in… it is coursing with electricity. He then places the conductor right next to this needle and has you flex whatever muscle has become the new habitat for Electric Needle from Hell. This lasts 30 minutes. It is to determine the extent of any muscle weakness. It is the worst part of the test because your muscles Charlie Horse upon immediate contact with Electric Needle from Hell. (Flexing a Charlie Horse muscle is, well… just try it sometime.)

The results of this test showed that I had considerable nerve damage to both of my legs. However, the test showed that the damage is on the recovery side of being hurt. Praise be to God. The weird part is as follows: my Neurologist is beginning to believe that what happened to me was a result of an unknown, aggressive virus that caused my body’s immune system to attack the nerve tissue in my legs. This virus and its antibodies are now out of my system (or so it seems), and, therefore, we have no way of knowing what virus it was. He is not able to prove this diagnosis and basically left me undiagnosed for the time being. I have a chance of contracting this virus again; however, that chance is very slim.

My doctor claimed that I should make a full recovery. He cannot, however, assert that with 100% confidence. I do still have considerable pain in my groin upon contact. He believes that my weakness is due to an unconscious fear of that pain and will be able to make a more clear statement as to my recovery when both the fear and the pain in my groin subside.

I return in two months for a follow-up. Your prayers are, as always, coveted.

I apologize for not keeping this as updated as some of you may have wished. I go back to my Neurologist tomorrow (er, today) for an EMG and to discuss what life looks like from here on out. I have a few good updates: 1) I’m walking with a cane. That wheelchair is gone, and God is to be praised! 2) My blood tests came back negative, meaning I actually do have Bilateral Saphenous Nerve Impingement, and God is to be praised! 3) Pain is no longer constant. I experience maybe a wave of pain about once a day, and God is to be praised!

Unfortunately, due to the physical deterioration of my left leg, I have been unable to focus on my emotional or spiritual health, of which have sparked monologues that so frequented this blog in its “early” life. I apologize for that, both to myself and to those who read this site. In light of this lack of reflection, I have decided to waste space by rambling. Beware! Rabbit-trails up ahead:

Just prior to writing this post, I read (er, stalked) a post from a xanga site I try to keep up on. It was about a lost love and the fight to “get her back.” I chuckled a little when I read this line:

WAIT! How can love wait? … Yet, I welcome this slavery [to waiting for her].

OK. Allow me to explain. It was by mere chance that I witnessed this blogger’s breakup. I was literally on the other side of the street honestly minding my own business when I realized what the devil was actually going on across the way. I knew this person was a writer, so I found his weblog (hence the “er, stalked”) and, voilà, here we are. What’s more ironic is that our connection has a closer proximity than the typical six degrees of separation. Yada-yada-yada, I digress. Do we really wait? Does true, honest-to-goodness, can’t-sleep-at-night-but-welcome-the-insomnia love drive us to wait? Or is love a drug that creates in us a hope that isn’t healthy to which to hold on?

Back in the day (which was a Wednesday), I wrote that “memories last only as long as you want them to. You can erase the bad ones. The question is, do you really want to? What would your life be like without even the worst of times?” If one hasn’t noticed, I value the storms that life throws at us. What is there to look forward to if every day’s yesterday was perfect in memory?

I value words. I know that actions speak louder than words, but words have their place. They exist. Words and language must be a valuable tool if God Himself saw that the best way to prohibit the building of Babel was to confuse the words of those building that tower. (Please note, God didn’t go to the drawing boards and guess which way would be best. I don’t mean to infer that by using the word, “saw.” God knew. God foreknew. Period.) I guess that’s why I value this quote from The Interpreter:

The gunfire around us makes it hard to hear. But the human voice is different from other sounds. It can be heard over noises that bury everything else. Even when it’s not shouting. Even when it’s just a whisper. Even the lowest whisper can be heard over armies… when it’s telling the truth.

It’s 2:40A and I just needed to talk. I’m sorry for wasting your time. One of these three thoughts (love, memory, or words) will be expounded upon soon. The two others may be lost in this waste of space forever, or I may jump on them as well. Just know I haven’t forgotten this site. I just haven’t had time to sit down and funnel out a coherent thought. Case-in-point: the aforementioned.

Type of Doctor: Neurologist
New Symptoms: N/A
Diagnosis:

Bilateral Saphenous Nerve Impingement/Entrapment. My good friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, after 5 weeks and countless imaging studies, blood tests, and physical examinations, I have been diagnosed! AND! it is NOT cancer or autoimmune! What is “cool” about this is that according to the most recently published textbook on nerve entrapment syndromes, I am the 3rd person ever documented to have this condition (because, according to my Neurologist, most entrapment syndromes are in the back of the leg)!

A Bilateral Saphenous Nerve Impingement is the crushing of the Saphenous Nerve (a main nerve that runs in the front of the leg) by my thigh muscle due to the nerve slipping out of its sheath. There is no definite diagnosis as to why this happened and there is no guarantee that this will stay “healed” after it is fixed. BUT! It is neither life-threatening nor life-altering. Praise be to God for that!

The treatment for this problem is high doses of steroids designed to flush out the inflammation of the muscle that is entrapping this nerve. I also am now on nerve pain medication (which, apparently is why narcotics didn’t work: constant pain while on a level 3 narcotic is diagnostic of nerve pain) which is designed to put my nerve into a “coma” of sorts. With less inflammation and a “comatose” nerve, it should slip back into its sheath. If this is successful, I will simply wake up one morning and be completely pain free!

However, this process is not guaranteed to work. If I complete my course of medications and have yet to experience relief, there is a more complex process that will need to be done. I will need to have an EEG of my left leg to pinpoint the exact location of the entrapped nerve. Once they locate it, I will receive routine local anesthetic injections designed to make the muscle “fall asleep.” When that happens, the nerve should slip right back into its sheath. If that is unsuccessful, I will have to have surgery on my thigh. The surgeon will shave away a small portion of the area of the muscle that is entrapping my nerve. This will enable the nerve to slip right back into its sheath!

I have a long road ahead of me, and that road is riddled with intense medications that will alter my demeanor significantly. Once the pain is gone, it will also be necessary for me to embark on physical therapy so I can learn how to walk again. But if all goes as planned, I will be walking (pain free!) in 2.5 months! What an answer to prayer.

I believe that my meeting this specific Neurologist was not by accident: I truly believe that it was ordained by God (as is everything else). Here is why: after getting my version of the history of this ordeal, the doctor reached his hand next to my hip and told me he was looking for my pulse. From what I have heard, only children get their pulse checked in this manner. Secondly, there was no medical reason for him to check my pulse. God-thing, in my opinion. Furthermore, while checking my pulse in that area, he noticed that I flinched away in pain whenever his hand touched my muscle. I had never known that I was in pain in that area until he pressed there. He immediately looked at me as though he had found his inspiration. He then proceeded to take out a needle and poke my left leg in different areas. It was brought to my attention at that very moment that I had lost sensation in certain areas of my left leg: some parts of my leg did not feel the pain of him poking me with a needle. Again: God-thing, in my opinion. He then left the room and returned with two books. One of those books had the two documented cases of what I have. Once more: God-thing, in my opinion!

Had it not been that doctor and had he not checked my pulse and had he not had that book, I would have been sent to an endocrinologist, which would continue to point to a very serious problem. I believe it is because of the prayers of all of you that I have been diagnosed. Thank you all for everything you have done for me: from your prayers to your words to your simple smiles when I roll into your presence. You all are precious to me, God-sends, good gifts from above. I love you all.

I feel the necessity of adding a disclaimer: due to the extremely rare nature of my condition, my doctor did caution me against taking away from this appointment a 100% certainty that I have what he says I have. He believes that he can say with 90% certainty that he is correct. Due to the 10% of doubt, he drew more blood and is testing for a complete autoimmune disorder panel. If those come back negative, he is right. If not, well, we take it from there.

As you can tell, I did not visit a doctor today. Please realize this: what I’m about to tell you is not an attempt to give you false hope or instill an artificial peace upon you. I am keeping my mind in this reality: I am still sick. I haven’t lost hope, but I’m not going to give way to naivety. Please do the same.

Nevertheless, I am writing to inform you that today has been the best day (physically speaking) since I have shown my first symptoms. I have only taken 2 doses of my pain medication, which is a personal record. My left knee is still in the most pain. My right knee hurts as well and I do have a new symptom: bruising on my left foot. However, my right hand and shoulder are not in pain.

I do not know what is to come even tomorrow morning. The pain may return. My knees may (may) feel better. I do not know. I know this: I am deeply thankful for every prayer said for me. I thank you all for caring enough to even check this blog on a regular basis. You are all God-sends, even if I don’t know you.

I am definitely going to keep my Neurologist appointment. Please, please, realize that I do not consider myself healthy or even feel confident enough to say that I am healing. I am just having an exceptionally good day.

…more to come…

Type of Doctor: Neurosurgeon
New Symptoms: Right shoulder/hand pain; swelling in right hand; loss of strength in right arm.
Diagnosis:

The OS mentioned in the previous post referred me to a Neurosurgeon at a local hospital. I kept the 9AM appointment I had today with the NS, making this doctor number 4 in 2 weeks. After reflex and strength tests, it has been determined that the problems I am having are not, in any way, related to a structural malfunction. Basically, the bulging disks in my spine aren’t causing my problems. That is bad news.

I am being referred to a Neurologist. My appointment is sometime next week. The NS has warned that I will probably be admitted to the hospital next week by the Neurologist. I will also be undergoing much more sophisticated blood tests, as well as nerve, muscle, and tendon biopsies. There is also a possibility that I will have 4 EKG’s on all four extremities.

The last thing the NS said to me was, “We need to get you started immediately.” He is thinking that I have something wrong with my blood, something that is very likely to be serious.

…more to come…